Dear 2024,
You were not soft nor gentle. Instead, you challenged me, forcing me to step into the biggest fear and discomfort I´ve ever experienced. I’m not sure I am grateful for this, but I thank myself for having had the strength to walk through it; at times so slowly it felt as if I was creeping backwards and others almost sprinting, trying to run away from myself. Regardless, I am here. Starting a new year, and for anyone who knows me, this by itself is embedded with meaning. You´ve taught me that what sometimes feels like a massive failure is indeed growth and that staying true to your needs and boundaries can be the loneliest and most scary thing to do.
So here I am, at the threshold of 2025, in hopes that if anything, I can grow to be more compassionate towards myself & the myriad “I´s” that inhabit me; the dark and sticky ones as well as those who dance it out when everyone is watching.
This year I am not making any commitment to change myself. I am not trying to sever any bit in an attempt to be “less” of anything; intense, impulsive, emotional, angry, sad, excited, bewildered, wild. Instead, I am leaning with great desire towards a more compassionate relationship with myself and others. I will try and fail and try again, every day, to widen the space between stimulus and reaction, so that I more graciously, but above all, more wholeheartedly ride the waves of this tumultuous and wonderful life I´ve been given by mere chance and coincidence.
Thank you, to each and every one who has been there for me this year; holding me, listening to my rants and supporting my sadness. Thank you to all of those who see me beyond the limits I impose on myself and to those who challenge me to tap into areas that I mostly avoid. Thank you for the joyous nights and the quiet mornings, but fuck sleepless nights that shatter my mood. I celebrate my novel being published and everyone involved in it. And thank you, especially to me, and the space I´ve created for growth and healing.
I am forever grateful; and forever in love.
Eda Sofía
PS: May the tears we´ve shed in 2024 nourish the seeds we´re planting in 2025.
